Cult of Chenzo

The local cult. To join you need to offer either your first born child, two virgins, or a million dollars (cash only).

Chenzo
He is our holy father, and savior.

Mudkip
The son of Chenzo he will arrive at the end of time to save us from krog_mlp.

forcep
He is the prophet of Chenzo, and is the voice of our holy father.

KimmyJ
The slayer of Krog, as sent by Chenzo. He has recently passed.

Members

 * Chenzo
 * forcep
 * bello6
 * KimmyJ
 * JohnStephen
 * Acetal
 * natehalodragon
 * DashingRainbow
 * italianbadger
 * Alfreto
 * shamanowl

Doctrine
Doctrine of the Cult of Chenzo

1. Thou shalt worship the three holy beings

-Chenzo the all father. Our one true lord.

-Mudkip the son. The Messenger and Herald of Chenzo.

-forcep the prophet. Bringer of the Holy Word.

2. Thou shalt pray daily in honor of the beings.

3. Thou shalt be free to do otherwise as long as thou shalt not praise other false idols or break rules that are currently unknown*. To do so is sin, and is punishable by eternal damnation, in the far lands, which is ruled by krog_mlp.

4. Those who follow this doctrine will be granted eternal life in the holy lands, which is like heaven but with blackjack and hookers.

5.There shall be a weekly offering at each mass of mudkip.

Any questions of policy should be directed to forcep, do not bother the holy Chenzo with inane questions.

May the Spirit of Chenzo guide you in life. May his son Mudkip bring about the end times, and your salvation. May his prophet forcep spread the holy word, and guide the local cult.

The Holy Book
Part 1: Many years ago, the land was inhabited by krog_mlp. He was cruel and unjust. Out of this world came a being, Chenzo, and with his coming krog_mlp fled to the far ends of the world. We thank Chenzo for our freedom, for his arrival freed us, as he ascended into god hood. Merry Chenzo Day to all of you.

Part 2: When Chenzo became God he freed the people, and recreated the Earth. First he carved the Earth. Second he created all plant life. Third he created living creatures. In three short days he restarted the world, cleansing it of Krog's influence. The one place he could not touch was the Far Lands.

Part 3: The far lands are the most inhospitable lands in the world, full of deserts, and deadly animals. At the end of time all deemed unworthy shall be cast to this land. The far lands as we know them are Australia, with it's multitude of poisonous animals, raging wildfires, and searing heat.

Part 4: With krog_mlp destroyed and the world cleansed, Chenzo set about recreating life on the planet. He created the first single cell organisms, and from there imbued them with the power to change and adapt, and after a long period, these creatures that he created became us, man. We as man are to praise him for the gift of life.

Part 5: One day, Chenzo sat upon a mountain, looking down upon us as a father, satisfied with his creation he let us roam free. But without his presence enemies of Chenzo arose, and caused havoc. These beings are known as trolls, and there numbers are large. Beware of them as they will cause you grief, do not stray from the path.

Part 6: Service to Chenzo in life shall be rewarded, and after death one shall be united with his holiness in eternal bliss. Hookers and Black Jack await you in the Holy Lands. Only fire, venomous animals, and drought awaits those who follow the ways of Krog. In no longer revering him we have ascended, and so too does KimmyJ, the angel sent to defeat Krog by Chenzo.

Part7: With the increasing numbers of nonbelievers Chenzo grew displeased. So he sent a prophet to our world to guide the people to revel in his divinity. He sent forcep so as to inspire the people, and bring hope, that one day the world would be free of trolls, and instead people would be able to do as they pleased without harassment.

Part 8: With Chenzo's defenders in place the world returned to peace, and his faith spread through the masses. He had shown that he was the true god, and unlike false gods was not afraid to show his presence to others.

Part 9: There once was a man who decided to worship a false god, that night he was raped repeatedly by his dog. He was then struck by lightning and died. Those who worship false gods will be struck down. Do not let yourself be raped by a dog, recognize the true god.

Part 10: Before the wrath of the trolls the church was reformed. Strengthened by it's cosolidation, and simplification it can continue to touch the lives of the afflicted.

Mass
mass is held on mondays, and starts on the 1st monday of April.

04/01/13 http://internetboxpodcast.com/chat/topic.php?id=3825

04/08/13 http://internetboxpodcast.com/chat/topic.php?id=3920

04/15/13 http://internetboxpodcast.com/chat/topic.php?id=4031

04/22/13 http://internetboxpodcast.com/chat/topic.php?id=4161

04/29/13 http://internetboxpodcast.com/chat/topic.php?id=4304

05/06/13 http://internetboxpodcast.com/chat/topic.php?id=4403

05/13/13 http://internetboxpodcast.com/chat/topic.php?id=4580

05/20/13 http://internetboxpodcast.com/chat/topic.php?id=4737

06/03/13 No longer will there be threads

Holidays
The first monday of April is Chenzo Day, and celebrates his arrival, and defeat of krog_mlp.

The first monday of May is KimmyJ Day, and celebrates his death.

In case of there being 53 mondays in a year the last monday is Apocalypse day. A Day long party held to hold off the apocalypse.

Enemies of the Cult
Servants of Krog, shun them for their wicked ways

GummmiGator - For trying to fuck up the Holy Shit.

risaxis - For being a dick and also fucking shit up.

shenmoki - For general cuntiness.